As a fashion stylist with training in both psychology and fashion design, I found myself marrying both directions in a discipline I call “fashion therapy”. I stumbled across an article in Psychology Today that really resonates with this philosophy. My views on the true meaning of style are captured perfectly by the author:

“style is a life-affirming expression of your character and spirit, a conviction that you are worth knowing, worth looking at and can present yourself well”.

I believe that personal style has two aspects: the internal and the external. Your personality and attitude towards life makes up the internal part; and how you physically present yourself to the world makes up the external part. They are inextricably linked. Time and time again, I’ve seen what a little magic on the outside can do to bring out the magic on the inside. I see this happening with my own clients, forum members and my underprivileged clients at Dress For Success (where I work as a volunteer dresser).

In a world of varying body types, countless retailers and overwhelming clothing choices, it’s no wonder that many of us are lost when it comes to dressing and grooming our bodies in the best way. So, in an effort to create clarity within this fashion chaos, we started youlookfab.com. Dressing well and the ability to express a great sense of style through clothing are things that can be learned. As the author in the article states:

“Fashion is in the clothes. Style is in the wearer”.

This is why we question the latest fashions and discuss how they can be worn with style. Even though I talk about fashion every day, YLF is more a style blog than a fashion blog.

Yves Saint Laurent said “fashion fades but style is eternal”. Coco Chanel said “Beauty is no guarantee for happiness, strive instead for elegance, grace and style”. When we look good we feel fabulous, but by the same token, feeling good is an essential ingredient of good style.

Establishing a general colour palette for blondes is a little trickier than the no-brainer reality that brunettes look great in blue. There are several variables that factor into the equation. The first one to consider: what kind of blonde are you? Tow-head, ash blonde, dark blonde or strawberry blonde? Complexion and eye colour are next.

Over the years, I’ve drawn the following conclusions:

• Strawberry blondes and tow-heads wear muted brights, ice-cream tones and dirty colours better than ash blondes
• Olive skinned dark blondes get way with wearing pastels and look particularly good in white and brights
• Ash blondes wear clean, cold and warm colours equally well, but tend to get washed out by insipid shades
• Most blondes look good in black, but occasionally dark slate grey or ink blue is a softer and more flattering choice
• Pale skinned blondes can look super in white if it’s appropriately contrasted with a strong colour like black or a bright
• Cream is a good choice for blondes that have cream strands running through their hair
• Blondes with blue eyes wear blue well and blondes with green eyes wear green well

I’m a rosy cheeked, short-haired ash blonde with creamy complexion and green eyes. I partially highlight my hair with ultra-blonde streaks, which is why I wear cream well. I look best in strong, sour bright colours like fiery red, canary yellow, citron, lime green, emerald green, fuchsia, cobalt blue, and bright turquoise. I look equally good in black and white combinations, ink blue and a dark olive green. I look a little blah in brown, but it comes alive when I add red, yellow, cream, white or black into the mix. I look dreadful in pastels, beige, light grey, muted brights and antique colours and avoid them like the plague. What type of blonde are you and which colours do you wear best?

As an ash blonde, these are some of the colours that work well on me.

Our mothers probably have more impact on our style and dress sense than we would care to admit. Here are some aspects of my late Mother’s style that I was grateful to learn:

• Good style starts with the best bra and I cannot stress this point enough.
• Perfect polish goes a long way. Styling your hair, wearing a scent and grooming your brows are easy ways to increase your style quotient. Mum was big on polish and I had this drummed into me at an early age.
• My Mother had good posture because her Mother made her walk around with a book on her head. When I do catch myself slouching on the odd occasion I can hear my mother telling me to STAND UP STRAIGHT.
• Dress up instead of dressing down because you’ll make a good impression that way.
• Don’t overdo make-up. Hallelujah. I especially love this one. Overly made-up faces are unsightly at any age.
• Black and white is a winning combination. I wear a lot of black and white and continue to love it’s dramatic effect.

There are also aspects of my Mom’s style that I would have liked her to change:

• Not wearing real fur. Mum did it freely in a time when the awareness was very different to what it is today. I am very opposed to fur and would have definitely gotten her to see things my way.
• Embracing denim. Wearing jeans was hard for my Mum. She thought denim looked un-ladylike and overly casual. But she eventually got her head around a pair of white jeans because they’re smarter. With encouragement, she would have eventually embraced smart casual dressing because she looked superbly elegant in jeans.
• Painting the toes red. My Mum was convinced that red toenail polish made her feet look like they were dipped in blood. Hilarious. Red looked so much better than the brown, earthy tones she chose instead.
• Adding silver to the mix. Gold was Mum’s only choice of metal, because she felt that she didn’t look good in white gold and silver. This was not true and she’d have enjoyed mixing metals.

Has your Mother’s personal style influenced your own? Would you like to change anything about your Mother’s style?

And for all the Moms out there: Happy Mother’s Day!

This post is dedicated to all mothers, and in particular to my late mother, who loved fashion and was an extremely stylish lady. She died eight years ago this month and would have turned 67 in September. I am proud to say that her style is alive in me.

Wearing tunics and dresses over jeans or pants is my favourite look. I’m all for outfit variety, but when it comes to a uniform, this is mine. I was first inspired by the look when my late mother sported the trend in the ‘70’s. There’s something extremely elegant AND funky about this ensemble combination and I’ve been besotted with it ever since. I started incorporating this look into my wardrobe 10 years ago and I haven’t looked back.

You don’t need to be tall or tiny to wear tunics and dresses over pants with style. It’s a question of getting the components and proportions right. You’ll need to pair slim boot cuts, straight legs, skinnies, leggings or clamdiggers with the right tunic or dress. Here’s how:

• The correct length: The shorter you are, the shorter you’ll need to go on the tunic or dress. You’re looking at a length somewhere between mid-thigh and a few inches above the knee. Go shorter or longer and you’ve lost that long lean line. Regular height and taller gals can shop in petites for this item as it often brings the hemline up to the correct place.
• The correct silhouette: Pear-shaped and apple-shaped gals need structured A-line silhouettes like shift dresses and baby dolls. Hourglasses, inverted triangles and rectangles get away with straighter and more fitted styles like shirt dresses and sheaths.
• Heels or flats: The trend is especially good with some sort of heel if you’re petite or pear-shaped, but it’s not a necessity. Judge the overall look once the ensemble is complete.

Chances are high you’ll need to commit a tunic or dress to wear over jeans or pants. It’s seldom that a dress will work over pants and on its own. It’s either too short to wear as a dress, or too long to wear over pants. Sometimes dress and tunic lengths work out perfectly and you get the biggest bang for your fashion buck by wearing them both ways, but it’s no guarantee.

Pairing tunics and dresses over pants is comfortable. And the right style tunic or dress is particularly forgiving around the tummy and thigh area if those are spots you’re self conscious about. Don’t be afraid to try something new. You can be a modern-classic that pushes the fashion envelope once in a while.

Tunics of varying lengths worn over pants, jeans and clamdiggers.

These are the types of dresses that work well over pants provided they are the correct length. From left to right: Sheath, shift, shirtdress and baby doll.

I see closets full of beautiful skirts and the tags are still attached. These skirts are often closet orphans because their owners don’t have tops to accompany them. As a result I end up doing a lot of “skirt-top-matching” when I shop with my clients.

So I am proposing a new rule: Don’t purchase a skirt unless you purchase the accompanying top at the same time, or you already have a top that will work in your closet.

Retailers are also at fault. They don’t seem to offer sufficient top options alongside their skirts. Unless they are belted and blouson’ed, tops must be shorter and more fitted to work well with skirts. Retailers often cheat on mannequins by pinning, tucking and layering the wrong type of top with skirts to create an attractive ensemble. We’re lured to the outfit, try it on, love the skirt and loath the top because it’s not a “skirt top”, but leave with the skirt and welcome another orphan into our wardrobe. Sound familiar?

Stop this from happening by following the skirt rule. Do not be tempted by gorgeous skirts unless you know how you’re going to complete the ensemble by the time you get home. If you don’t, chances are high you’ve wasted your money.

This top is available in regular and petites and has just gone on sale at Banana Republic for $29.99. It looks pretty good with skirts and is better in the flesh, so don’t judge it too harshly from these pictures. It’s very short and fitted, but not too clingy (look at how short it is on the pant-wearing model). It might be your solution for an orphan skirt.

Outfit variation is a controversial point in the fashion and style world. Some stylists feel that sticking to one ensemble formula is great, whereas others believe you don’t have style unless you wear an assortment of silhouettes. Nicole raised an interesting question on the forum:

“Should someone stick to one pant style because it’s the most flattering?”

For example, should you stick to straight leg pants because they look best, or is it better to throw in boot cuts and wide-legs once in a while? Nicole went on further to say that if you decided to stick to one pant style…

“It would be like eating chicken every single night, but using a different kind of dressing”.

I thoroughly enjoyed this analogy, but I think you can have your cake and eat it too. I’m all for uniforms and diversity. No one should feel like they’re in a clothing rut; but wearing something less flattering or less comfortable for the sake of change is not the solution. Style rule number one is that we wear clothing that flatters our body type. If you happen to look great in many silhouettes, I say go for it because variety is the spice of life. But by the same token, you can maintain a stylish appearance when you stick to few silhouettes and wear them well.

I personally feel in a rut if I stick to one ensemble formula. I like a menu change and prefer to mix it up with different denim silhouettes, pant styles, dresses, skirts and a rainbow of colours. Throw in a different heel height and handbag combination and you’ve changed the entire flavour of your ensemble.

I encourage newness and ensemble variation with my clients because I fear that people get bored wearing the same silhouettes day in day out. But people don’t seem to get as bored with their outfits as I do. Some people are happy eating chicken every night. Are you? Do you wear a uniform, or do you change your outfit combinations daily? What are your favourite outfit combinations and why?

Achieving a casual, yet stylish appearance is hard to accomplish. It’s easier to look fab in dressier pieces with a “wow factor”. But looking good in casual settings is achievable if you’re mindful about the pieces that you select and how you put them together. Retaining a level of polish in casual attire goes a long way and getting that part right is just as important.

Like all dress codes, “casual” style is about following a formula. Here are the components:

• Pants, skirts and walk shorts: Casual bottoms are great in denim, corduroy, cotton twill, cotton blends, micro- checks or linen. Stick to dark blue denim if you’re over the age of 35 and stay away from the dreaded capri look.
• Tops: It’s essential that you wear the right casual top to ensure a high style quotient. Choose knitted tops, knitted tunics, knitwear and woven tops over T-shirts because they’re versatile and a lot more interesting. T-shirts don’t pop, whereas other casual top options do.
• Jackets: Adding a denim friendly, lined or unlined jacket to a casual ensemble increases your style quotient. This can’t be done in hot weather but is a must when it’s chilly. Jackets in denim, corduroy, cotton twill, cotton blends, rayon blends, acetate, polyester bends and linen are good choices.
• Cardigans: They’re the perfect light weight cover-up for dresses or sleeveless tops. Chunky knits are always casual but finer gauges will also work.
• Coat: Tailored puffer jackets, parkas or casual trenches worn to the thigh or knee are super.
• Dresses: Short jersey or cotton rich A-line day dresses are ideal.
• Shoes: Flats are generally more casual than heels so non-athletic fashion sneakers, ballet flats, espadrilles, casual sandals, thong sandals, casual short or knee-high boots and low wedges are great. Low heels can be informal if the styling is casual.
• Handbag: Sling bags are perfect, but totes, hobos, wicker or canvas bags are equally good options.

The casual dress code is often abused in the name of “comfort”. Items like sweat pants, hooded sweat tops, yoga-type pants, yoga tops, polar fleece tops, sporty windbreakers, basic T-shirts, lycra tank tops, athletic sneakers and any other type of clothing or shoe that is meant for sport or exercise does not make it into the casual wear category. This look is beyond casual wear. It’s what I call “gear” which is what you wear when you’re working out, engaging in a sport, or lounging at home. Do not wear these items in public as a form of casual wear. It’s poor style.

Casual outfit ideas from Boden.

I have several favourite fashion eras but my absolute favourite is fashion from the late ‘50’s to mid ‘60’s. Think Grace Kelly in “Rear Window”, Audrey Hepburn in “Breakfast at Tiffany’s”, Jackie O, Twiggy and Edie Sedgwick. Fashion at this time was the perfect mixture of dressy lady-like silhouettes and funky pop art inspired designs. I could have happily lived as an adult in this fashion era, although I’m sure I’d miss my straight leg jeans.

I also love the glamour and drama that prevailed during the ‘40’s and the crazy disco vibe that ruled the late ‘70’s. The roaring ‘20s had its flapper appeal, and even though the ‘80’s is regarded as ”the decade of anti-fashion”, it had it’s absurd appeal. I was an impressionable teeny bopper then. I thought I looked fabulous in my bad taste creations and teased hair, which is why I have to include the era among my favourites. (Read more ‘80’s confessions on YLF forum).

Fashion in the ‘30’s, late 60’s to early 70’s, and ‘90’s leaves me cold. The Second World War had a realistically somber impact on fashion and I’m not a hippy at heart. And the ‘90’s was a confused era of ‘80’s remnants, grunge, hip hop mania and minimalistic millennium madness. But I’ll commend the decade for bringing back the natural female hourglass silhouette and ridding us of rugby player shoulder pads.

We’re in the first decade of the 21st century and I wonder how the current fashion era will be remembered. Today’s fashion is much like a modern melting pot of 20th century fashion and that’s unique in itself. I find myself excited as each new season unfolds. Which are your favourite fashion eras? How do you feel about the era we live in right now?

I encourage my clients to create an individual stamp by throwing that “something special” into their clothing and accessory mix. Style is a celebration of individuality and no-one should look like a cookie-cutter version of someone else.

This “something special” can be one thing, or it can be a multitude of things. It can also be a decision to refrain from wearing something. For example, I intentionally never wear earrings or bracelets. I prefer to make a statement with specs and necklaces. And when it comes to necklaces, I’ll narrow down my selection to some form of funky pearl and virtually nothing else.

There are countless ways to introduce a personal stamp. Some people choose to wear a lot of one particular colour in their clothing or accessories. Others add an ethnic flavour or stick to neutrals. You might like to be adventurous with many colours, or wear lots of vintage clothing. Perhaps you’re known for dramatic hairstyle changes, wearing a scarf every day, opting for dresses instead of pants or sticking to classic, clean-cut clothing. Your personal stamp can and should evolve over time.

This is how people create a recognizable signature style. After all, personal style begins and ends with a strong sense of yourself.

I’d love to hear about your signature style in the comments, or on the forum.

When Kate Moss and Sienna Miller starting strutting their designer high-rise jeans around London at the end of last year, the writing was on the wall. This was a trend in the making. Sure enough, it wasn’t long before ultra high fashion retail chains like Zara, Mango, French Connection and H&M started dabbling in the look. What I thought was going to be another short lived ‘80’s fashion recurrence is clearly not the case. Rises are rising and we’ll need to start adapting the look. The good news is that fashion repetitions are always improved and updated. Pants with elevated rises can be fabulously flattering if you find a pair that fits (or are altered to fit).

I’ve had the best luck dressing women in these styles when I’m mindful of the following: 

• Keep the waistband above the hip bone and below the belly button. This seems most flattering across the tummy area.
• Opt for a flat, clean front. Stay away from pleats or pockets that add bulk.
• Keep the leg width flared and floor skimming for the longest leanest line.

Higher rises give us the option of tucking our tops, shirts and blouses back into our pants. It’s the perfect silhouette for waist-cinching belts and a nice change to flowy swing tops that are equally fashionable. It’s brilliant to have an abundance of choices!

High rise pants from Nanette Lepore, Marc Jacobs and Ralph Lauren (available at Nordstrom).